What do they mean by “You should settle in your life”

The constant phrase every indian youth hears these days is “You should settle in your life” or at worst cases “When will you settle in your life ?”. Everyone from your mom, dad, uncle, aunty, maid, vegetable vendor will advise you to settle in your life. Every time a whole bunch of questions will pop up in my mind when someone tells me this phrase. “What do they mean by settling in life ? what do these people want us to settle with ? And why do they care so much for us to get settled in our life when they themselves are not settled properly?”

The first misconception others have is that they think the settle is something related to a permanent state of happiness and fun. Its not. Every step to achieve that involves a constant state of pain and struggle. And if we attain a state which others expect us to achieve, we are pushed to a state where we have to maintain it for the rest of our life so that others don’t mistake us.

For those who say “Just two years, my son or daughter will settle in their life”. Let me explain what does the phrase actually mean. The word settle is not a stable one. It involves constant change at every phase of your life.

When you’re in your college you will hear your parents say “I want to get a good job and settle in your life”.

After you finish your college you will hear them say “I want you to get married and settle in your life”

After you get married you will hear your parents and relatives say “When you will get kids and settle in your life ?”

After so much pressure you get yourself a couple of kids. Now you will hear your friends and relatives say “Wow! great! you’ve got some lovely kids. A great family.Now why don’t you get a decent two bedroom apartment and settle down in your life ?”

You take 40-50 lakh loan. Sacrifice your vacations and holidays. Do overtime in your office. You wife will go to job. Sell beauty products and lunch boxes from home. You will switch off the Air conditioner after two hours because you have to save enough money to repay the loan every month. You will sacrifice the love for your wife and live on a mechanical routine for the next twenty years.

By the time you complete your loan, your kids will be grown ups. By this time, the word “Settle” would have deeply penetrated inside your brain and made you into a mechanical robot.

Now when you see your kid preparing for his final semester you go to him and say “Son! you should get a good job and settle in your life”. You will involved in the process of next generation robots who is going to satisfy his vacations and holidays for repaying another 40 or 50 lakhs.

Now you can see how one word has made you into nothing but a money making machine. The word killed all your happiness and peace to the root and stil made you think that what you are doing is right. Doesn’t that sound dangerous ? Yes it does. Everytime when someone says “you should settle in your life” , a wave of terror passes inside me. I feel that the entire society around me is trying to make a victim to the word.

According to me, living with complete peace and happiness is the real meaning of settling in life. It doesn’t mean you should settle with whatever shit thrown at you. It means to live with happiness and love things you do. If you make all the money without being happy then there is no point working in a job or living in a million dollar apartment. Start thinking about what you want ? If you can’t figure out now, keep thinking so that you will come to know it sometime in the future. It is never too late. Even if you figure it out when you are fifty you can live the next 15-20 years the way you want.

I want to talk about this for a long time . Finally i had the clarity and courage to do it. I hope i didn’t offend anyone. Even if i did, I just spoke the truth.

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