Women’s day wishes.
Today, I read a blog post written by a friend and fellow blogger, bragadeesh, who spoke about today’s marriage market, especially what’s happening with respect to matrimonial sites, which made me want to write something about what I observed when I set up my profile a couple of months back. (Yeah! You heard it right!)
Until his mid-twenties, a guy struggles his way into the job market, which is cruel, highly-demanding, and constantly changing based on god knows what! Soon after he settles into a job, which he doesn’t know, is insecure compared to how it was twenty years back, he is pushed into the marriage market.
I was no exception. My parents want me to get married, because they didn’t want me to go through what they had to go through when they got married. My dad was almost 40, when he got married. I understand their feelings. But, the marriage market has changed a lot, especially during the past decade. It’s chaos. It difficult for anybody out there, especially for a person who is dark, heavyset, and on his way into going bald. (I’m talking about me.) But, I set up my matrimonial profile for the sake of my parents.
After signing up, I had a chance to go through a couple of profiles. Working women prefer a partner who earns more than them. There’s nothing wrong in that. I girl who is making 3 lakhs per annum is expecting a guy who is making 5-6 lakhs per annum. Makes sense. But, girls who are not working, or not willing to work, is preferring guy who makes 10-20 lakhs per annum (I have come across this in many profiles.) They want to marry a guy who earns their part too. This is insane!!! At least, I feel it that way.
And, in several talk shows I’ve noticed girls wanting a guy to have a car, two or three bedroom apartment, and lots more.
Let’s make a simple calculation. A guy has a small car, which he buys in EMI. Even if he puts an EMI for five years, his monthly expenses for the car would be EMI + Petrol, which would approximately round up to Rs.10,000. If he buys a house, he should pay a minimum interest of 15,000 – 20,000 for the next 10 or fifteen years.
So, let’s analyze this in a much detailed way. (All these are approximations.)
EMI for car – Rs.5000
EMI for house – Rs. 12000
Petrol for car – Rs. 4000
Petrol for bike – Rs. 2000 (office use, etc.)
Groceries – Rs. 3000
Weekly outing (movies) – 4 x 500 – Rs. 2000
Dinner and other expenses (per month) – Rs. 3000
If a guy wants to give money to their parents – Rs. 8000
Telephone and internet – Rs. 1500
Even on an approximate basis, a guy would need approximately Rs. 40,000 to run his family. And, this is without any savings. Additional expenses include jewels, investment on land, guest visits, family trips, buying home appliances, etc.
So, a guy has to make more than Rs.60,000 to satisfy the expectation of most women. But, what happens when the guy loses his job? Does he defy your basic qualifications? What if he stops making money? Where is the savings? What will you do? The house will still be on due, the vehicle too. And, there will be no money to support the family. What will a girl do under such circumstances? Leave him? I don’t know. I’m puzzled.
I am not saying girls are bad. No, I am not that kind. I am a feminist myself, and I respect women who are independent, and who follow their passion. They have dreams, and no one is stopping them from having it. My concern is about most of them setting a trend. A luxurious life, a grand wedding, a big house. Doesn’t happen to every guy. I know really smart, hard-working guys, who are not making more than Rs.12,000 a month. Bitter truth.
I am not telling you to hunt for lower middle class guys and marry them. That would be ridiculous. Set your preferences to a realistic level. Look for someone who would be with you in the long run. Start a life, have fun, work hard, save a lot, and then invest in a house, or anything as a couple. Don’t make the guy bear all the burden during an age where he has things to do, dreams to fulfill, and a life to live.
Life’s all about being happy. Expecting too much will cost you more time, bring you more stress, and take your life away before you get to live your dream. Marriage is not materialistic. It’s not about properties and money. My wish is, one has to consider everything before thinking about setting unrealistic expectation.
You can read my friend’s blog post here: http://bragadeeshprasanna.com/its-kindah-funny/
Also, you can mail me your views at firstname.lastname@example.org