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The girl I met in the hospital

A few incidents can change your whole perspective towards something. In a recent TV series episode, one of the characters will tell that everybody has a ‘defining moment’, a moment that changes their whole life; or their whole perspective of how they see things than before.

One such defining moments happened to me yesterday. I was at the hospital to visit my dad (he was admitted due to a mild electrolyte imbalance. He’s fine now!) and was talking to my mom, as my dad slept after a heavy session of intravenous reionization (drips!) We spoke about my mom’s stay at the hospital and she told me that she couldn’t sleep properly as one of the patients, a little girl, kept screaming all night.

When I asked her the reason, my mom told me that the little girl was diagnosed with bone cancer, a tumor on her left shoulder. She told me that the girl was seven-years old. I was thrown into a deep state of shock. As we kept talking about the girl, we heard a loud scream from across the hall. It was the girl’s voice. She was shouting at her dad. We paused our conversation, and I walked across the ward to see her. I slowly went along the direction from where the voice came and stood before her bed that was draped with sandal colored curtains to provide translucent privacy.

The propelled air from the ceiling fan flung the curtains back and forth, revealing the face of the little girl. She was a beautiful little thing. She was lean, had a moderately dusky complexion, and had a deep brown eyes. Her short boyish hair cut made her look more pretty. When I noticed I found a lump on her left shoulder. A bulge. The tumor!

She sat on a plastic chair with a pillow behind her back. She kept turning her head from left to right to avoid the spoon of rice that was handed over to her by her father. I walked near her bed and looked at her. She gave me a puzzled look. I was a stranger. I never knew her. I just went there to see her. Now that she saw me I don’t know what to say. I introduced myself by my name, and told her that I am her friend. But, she was not in a mood to meet any new friends. She did not smile, but she was calm.

But, the calmness did not last long. She started crying when one of nurses came back to connect her to the intravenous chemo dose for the day. She pleaded the nurse saying she did not want the medicine as it was painful. She screamed whenever the nurse went near her. She kept repeating the word “please”, with tears rolling down from her deep brown eyes. That moment shook me to my core.

Within minutes, the entire nurse station was there, trying to make her smile, and to convince her to take the medicine. But, she did not stop crying. Almost every nurse looked sad, irrespective of their experience in handling patients like her. They felt really bad for forcing her into the treatment. But, it was necessary, and it had to be done. I did my share of convincing the girl. I sat next to her and spoke to her. I told her that she should consider taking the medicine or she will have to stay longer at the hospital. She nodded,and went silent for a minute. But, before I could get happy, she started crying again. None of us could do a thing about it. I told the nurse that they should leave her alone and try convincing after sometime. They agreed and left the place. But, I sat there for a couple of more minutes to see her calm down.

I wanted to be with her for a few more minutes, but I was called by my mom to meet the doctor and discuss something. I waved bye to her with a heavy heart and left the place. While driving back I kept thinking about the whole episode. Seven years old. I felt that the girl was too young to be in such a state. I felt that she does not deserve this. We’re all complaining about life, saying things like “why is this happening to me? I am a good person. God shouldn’t punish me. Why did he?” We always try to justify ourselves to come clean. But, the little girl is not blaming anybody. She doesn’t even know the seriousness of her disease. All she could feel was the pain, and she let it out by crying.

The whole incident made feel the importance our lives in this world. We have no idea who will get what. We are waking up everyday, getting ready for a wild gamble. When you’re through, it doesn’t mean you have won. You’ll have to repeat the whole thing the next day. Life is all about living through the unpredictability. It is all about the upcoming anticipation that slowly decodes itself along with the time. There is no machine to break the code. There is no way to hack it. The only way to get through it is by living the moment.

Live life. Love life.

Karthik Pasupathy
Karthik Pasupathy

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  1. Speechless , I would say , I was after reading this post. I fear most the “DEATH” of any loved one’s . I fear the emptiness , the vacuum in heart left after death, the state of helplessness, state of no hope. But you said it right ,the only way is “to live the moment “. Life is really a puzzle, so many unanswered questions, still looking for many “WHY’s ” in my life, but still i can make this search of mine , a little more interesting , more hopeful by living the moment. Yout can’t do anything about what is in future , but can do something atleast for what is in now.
    U write beautiful 🙂

    • rkarthikpasupathy rkarthikpasupathy

      Thank you 🙂

  2. S.AM S.AM

    Embrace uncertainity…

  3. So hard for me to even read this. Hope she gets better. God bless her.

    And beautiful write up.

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