The most confusing thing about relationships is that people don’t know where they are in a relationship. This usually happens with men. Women are quite clear when comes to this (at least I think so)
When a guy and a girl spend a lot of time and they like each other (or have a feeling that they like each other) there comes a question in the mind of the guy (at some point) wondering what ‘zone’ they are in.
When I told this to my friend Srilakshmi, she said “How about we classify the zones?” It sounded like an interesting idea. Girls, right after meeting a guy or after spending time with him, put them in different zones. After some discussion, we classified six relationship zones.
We’re calling it “Karthik and Sri’s six zones of relationship”
So, if you’re in a relationship, or think that you’re in one (happens a lot of time), its time for you to think which zone you’re in.
- Friend zone
- Bro zone
- Test can zone
- Boyfriend zone
- Husband zone
- Son-in-law zone
The most common zone in an Indian relationship.
You’ll be friends with a girl and you will want more in the relationship. You will also try your level best to express it to her. And, the best part is, she will also know this. But, she will put you in the friend zone.
This means that you can be a great friend to her, but not her boyfriend. You will be the shoulder for her to cry on. You will run errands for her. You will be her pillar of support. You will be everything to her, but you will not and can never be her boyfriend, period.
This is the third most painful zone to be in (one and two are coming later). You will continue to like her, she will continue to know that you like her. But, you can never say it because you will be too afraid it would screw things up. You might even hear “I thought we were friends. You are like every other men!” which is kind of a code red situation 😀
But, you can come out of this zone. You should stop expecting more from her and move on. You should treat her as a best friend and should expect nothing more. Start looking for another potential partner.
Note: There are times where you might be upgraded to the boyfriend zone from the friend zone. It depends on the girl. Sometimes it is worth waiting.
You will like her and would be so eager to tell her how you feel. This is when she will slip in the phrase “You remind me of my brother.” or. “You are like my brother” or even “I wish I had a brother like you.” Her words will nuke your heart and the mushroom cloud would condense as vapours and would start running inside your body.
A lot of girls use the word “bro” as a safety measure. If a girl, who is one year younger to you, calls you “anna” or “bhaiya”, it is clearly a measure of safety.
The best thing to do is stay away from that girl. I know you like her. But, there’s no future. So, it is good that you move on.
I don’t want to talk more about this zone as there is nothing more to talk about this.
When you consider the degree of pain, bro zone is the second most painful zone to be in.
‘Test can’ zone
This is the most painful zone to be in. The painful of all the zones.
Have you ever seen the deodorant section in a supermarket? They will have huge racks filled with perfumes and sprays. If you want to try something, the salesperson will give you a ‘test can’ with which you can try the perfume/spray. If you like it, you won’t buy the test can. Instead, you will buy a new can.
Similarly, the girl you like will love everything in you. Your humor, the way you take care of her, the support you offer, your parents, etc. But, when you ask her “what kind of a guy you want?” she would say “I would want a boyfriend like you.”
Your mind would scream “Woman! I am here.” You will be too excited. You would even think about asking her out, or the worst case propose to her.
But, hold that thought.
She doesn’t like you, but the idea of you. There is a huge difference.
You will have to move around with her knowing that she would want someone like you and not you. That is the reason this is the most painful zone to be in.
If you think you’re in this zone, the best way to overcome this is by telling the girl how you feel about her. She can upgrade you to the boyfriend zone, or push you back to the friend zone. But, it is not advisable to stay too long in the test can zone.
Are you super glad when you finally get to hear those three magical words?? “That’s my boyfriend.”
Well, it’s good for you, if you expect nothing more than just a casual relationship with the girl. If you are someone who wants to be in a serious relationship, the boyfriend zone is just as worst as friend zone.
You are always wanted, when it comes to date nights, long bike rides, and Valentine’s Day. However, there are high chances that you are never going to make it to her house in daylight.
Why? Sometimes, you are just being used as a rebound to make her “ex” feel jealous. And few times, it’s because all her friends have boyfriends, so peer pressure.
Well, the good news – this zone is still not that prevalent, at least in Chennai. Bad news – the longer time you are in this zone, the harder it is to come out of it.
Are your “have-never-kissed-a-girl” lips smiling seeing this zone? Well, don’t. This is the ultimate “manamketta” zone to be in. You are the backup. Yes, the guy she might consider marrying if she is single at 30, which is even less likely than Saravanan Meenakshi making sense.
If she is a nice catch and hence you like her, she is not going to be single. So, when she asks you to be the guy she wants to marry if she is still single at 30 or 40, RUN! Don’t go Awww, because you are the ‘Bali Aadu’ here.
Now, what makes a man fall into this zone, unlike the other 4 zones above, where you fall in it, irrespective of which kind of guy you are, this zone is specifically for men who are marriage material. Let me explain with an example: If you are someone who prefers to drop her office instead of asking her to bunk it to go on a long drive, you are the perfect candidate for this zone.
In the past 25+ years of our existence, neither of us realized that this can even be a zone, until recently, I (Sri) was asked out by a guy, who is the dream son-in-law for my mom. Well-behaved, earning six digit monthly salary, loves to take his mom, sisters, and friends for shopping, great in cooking, adores kids, and what not. If he had gone and proposed to my parents (like Ambi Vikram) instead of proposing to me, there are high chances that I would have been picking my wedding saree now for my arranged marriage with this guy. And there are even high chances that he will be assisting my mom in helping me choose the saree.
The target audience for the guys who fall in this zone are 50+ married, authoritative women and sometimes men. How to come out of this zone? Well, you just have to register yourself in Bharath Matrimony or even better Elite Matrimony.
So, that’s our six zones of (ir) relationship. If you are reading this blog instead of spending your Valentine’s night with a date, then it’s absolutely sure that you are in one of these zones.
So, which one is it?
Srilakshmi co-authored this blogpost along with me. She is a great friend and we had an amazing time brainstorming on this topic. She blogs at https://iamstri.wordpress.com/. Check it out.
Disclaimer: All the above content were personal opinions written based on observations and stories that we came across. It is not written with the intention to hurt anyone’s feelings. C’mon! This is not a scientific paper, so chill B-)